Chickens are one of nature’s most paranoid and suspicious creatures.*  They are also extraordinarily forgetful.**  These traits combine to make them exceptionally easy (and fun!) to frighten.  While they always seem to suspect something is going on, they are never sure quite what it is, and that’s your ticket to enjoyment. Here’s how, in 4 easy steps:

Step 1. Sneak into a chicken yard.  A chicken yard is any place that groups of chickens gather, maybe to eat or just socialize.

Step 2. Pretend you are a statue.  If you pretend hard enough, the chickens will believe it, too.

Step 3. Wait for the chickens to start admiring the new statuary park that is apparently being constructed in their chicken yard.  You’ll know it’s time to move on to Step 4 when you see admiration in the chickens’ eyes.

Step 4. In a single, fluid motion, throw your hands in the air, emit a horrible sound, and lunge toward a chicken.  It helps to imagine blocks of concrete flying off of you, as if you were a real person who had merely been trapped in the body of a statue.

And that’s it!  Congratulations, you have successfully frightened a chicken!


*Source: Science.
**Ibid.