After my Valentine’s Day Note was published here at Bobsoldout.com, I received a lot of electronic fan mail letters in my electronic mailbox that read something like this:
Dear Mr. John Fontaine,
I am a longtime reader and first time writer, and I have to tell you that I love your pulp fiction for which you are so duly noted. But the real reason I write to you today is because of your wonderful Valentine’s Day Note that you published there at Bobsoldout.com.
[Personal anecdote about love problem, followed by desperate pleas for my thoughts, how I'm not only a noted pulp fiction writer but also a real man of the world, etc. etc., thanks in advance]
Yours sincerely and thanks (in advance) again,
[Name withheld]
Now I thought, I’m a generous man of the world, I have gifts in the ways of love to contribute to the world-at-large, but as every real writer knows the first thing you need before you start writing anything is a title. So what should I call my new advice column to answer all of the world’s tough love questions? Then it hit me — “Tough Love.”
Now I know what many of you are thinking — I should change the name of the column to something that reflects my street smarts, like, “Tuff Luv,” or maybe “Xtreme Luv,” or something with the letter Z. And truth be told a younger John Fontaine might even agree with you — see, for example, my essay titled “I’m not going to let your Fascistionary dictate how I spill things,” or my book, Tie Kilt Ghoti (pronounced like “She Killed Fish” and not to be confused with the next book in that series, Thai, Kilt, Goatee.) But I’m not going to change the title, not because I believe in the necessity of standardized spelling or the logic of etymology, but because everyone already knows how street smart I am and I don’t want to seem braggy.
Anyway, your Tough Love questions will be answered in the order received, the last Sunday of every month.
jf, npfw, rmotw
johnfontaine [at] bobsoldout.com
