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“No Personal Checks, Please” at Fiction365

No Personal Checks, Please
[fiction365 | 15 January 2012]

I want to thank all of you for coming and I hope you lied to your family and friends about where you were going to be tonight. I have to say this is a pretty impressive turnout for a club that only advertises via small, classified ads. I think you’ll soon discover that being here is one of the best decisions you’ve ever made, because in a few short weeks you’re going to be certified to set up your own club anywhere you want, and you’re going to be making a lot of money and helping a lot of people at the same time. Everybody wins by you making the right choice to be here. This is a pretty special group.
Continue reading at Fiction365. . .

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“Anatomy of Two Artists” at Fiction365

Post-it notes

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Anatomy of Two Aritsts
[fiction365 | 25 October 2011]

You live alone and earn a reasonable monthly sum that keeps you comfortable and with enough free time to keep your literary aspirations hopeful. You have a desk drawer full of story ideas written almost wholly on sticky notes, envelopes, and napkins. You bought a Mac, because you think that’s the instrument of choice for creative people like yourself.
Continue reading at Fiction365. . . | Comment via Facebook. . .

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"The Top Hat Bandits and the Colonel Mustard Conspiracy" at The Writing Disorder

monopoly

Image by rustybrick via Flickr

The Top Hat Bandits and the Colonel Mustard Conspiracy
[the writing disorder | summer 2011]

They used to keep the money in a pouch attached with Velcro to the inside of the toilet tank, but they had to change things after they’d been caught once by a neighbor when the toilet clogged and he took off the lid to prevent an overflow. That night he simply took what they had left and kept quiet, but once he knew that they knew, he came clean and used the information to blackmail them for a few thousand every time he came over, an agreement they accepted and honored, and as long as he didn’t get greedy they thought of him more as a silent co-conspirator than as a blackmailer.
Continue reading at The Writing Disorder. . .

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"One Sentence Concerning Ants" at Monkeybicycle

Ants

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One Sentence Concerning Ants
[monkeybicycle | april 2011]

If one is to smoosh a line of ants that have discovered the sugar and coffee remnants of an afternoon snack, one must commence the smooshing before the ants have found their treasure—after even a single nibble, a formerly docile ant may become heroic, moving much too quickly and revealing a new found agility as to make smooshing generally unenjoyable and occasionally impossible …
Continue reading at Monkeybicycle. . .

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"I will never be an acrobat," "Turning 25," and "Off the Rails" at Quarterlife Quarterly

Acrobat

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I will never be an acrobat

I will never be an acrobat.
This thought recently occurred to me.
There is no “probably” in that statement.
I will never be an acrobat.
Continue reading at Quarterlife Quarterly. . .

Turning 25 or, My First Adult Thanksgiving
Off the Rails
[the quarterlife quarterly | april 2011]

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"Love and Possibilities" at Breadcrumb Scabs

Love and Possibilities (.pdf, page 27)
[breadcrumb scabs | march 2011]

i.
He couldn’t sleep. He woke his wife up. “I can’t sleep,” he said. “Well,” she said. “Now I can’t sleep either.” She said, “Sometimes you can be such a jackass.”

Continue reading at Breadcrumb Scabs (.pdf, page 27). . .

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"Love and Laundry and Outer Space" at DOGZPLOT

M11, the Wild Duck Cluster is a very rich clus...

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Love and Laundry and Outer Space
[dogzplot | february 2011]

Thursday nights before Astrology Club she and I would meet in the basement laundry room of our building to lay flat and still and naked on the cold concrete floor while our soiled clothes commingled in the warm suds of a stackable washer-drier unit.
Continue reading at DOGZPLOT. . .

UPDATE FEB. 26: Love and Laundry and Outer Space” is on the Orange Alert Watch List! Thanks, Orange Alert!

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"Go Home, Son, Your War Is Over" at Long Story Short

Go Home, Son, Your War Is Over
[long story short | february 2011]

Michael drove through the crispness of an unusually cool August afternoon, windows down, a preview of the too-few weeks in the coming autumn, down Stellhorn Road, turned away from the interstates, out by corn fields, down past a bowling alley and a cemetery, turned back toward a state road, stopped paying attention in an attempt to get lost in his own hometown but unconsciously pulled into his parents’ driveway, and parked.
Continue reading at LSS. . .

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"Love and Gambling" at NEGATIVE SUCK

Full House

Image by Bryan Davidson via Flickr

Love and Gambling
[negative suck | february 2011]

He told me to shut up and deal, so I did, partly because it made me feel like a big man to be talked at that way and partly because what else could I do? I dealt all the cards while he was in the bathroom and when I ran out I opened another deck and dealt those, too.
Continue reading at Negative Suck. . .

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